Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
