Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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