So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
