hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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