im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
