Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
