did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
