day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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