Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
