and she was petting her beer can
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
