i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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