Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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