so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
