I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
