I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
