I wanna bring you to show and tell
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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