At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
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