Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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