I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
