I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Small penises have feelings too.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
