I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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