sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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