its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
