I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
