Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
