Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
