It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
