I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize