I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
