am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
