adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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