i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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