i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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