im about as happy as oj after his trial
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
