we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Someone shattered a urinal.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Holy sore nipples Batman
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
