You can't motorboat a personality
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
