We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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