margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
