we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
