I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
