Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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