At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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