this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
