I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
