forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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