Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
