Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It was a blind-side dick pic.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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