he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
