Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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