I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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