There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
