we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She's the barista slut.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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