We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
