Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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