I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
