even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
