There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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