there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
