1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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