Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
