Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
