He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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