my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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