I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
