i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
