my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
