I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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